You're Gonna Need a Bodybag

Don't waste your time aiming for jealousy

and don't say you're not, after everything you are supposed to be

And don't tell me you are a friend to me

If after 3 years of hell you would regress to this

Letting it go, back to the days of freshman mistakes

Back to the days of hanging legs over lakes

Of tears spilled for you, never addressed

of the boys with no names and the girls you undressed

Of the time spent waiting for you to come around

But you never did, the facade of moving on

I wouldn't be here If i didn't care

Don't act like you were waiting here

Scream it in my face, go ahead

I'm calling your bluff, I'm calling you out

I lost feeling remember?

Or did you forget that lonely september?

you weren't there, dear, to catch any tear

that fell and drowned me, baptized in misery

came out new, forgetting everyone including you

I had to.

So take your drugs

You know I can't judge

we all have our vices and we all have our places

we'll fear the most and flee to the coast

to get away from it all

Its sad to me, what could be

It could have been you and me

It could have been you and me

but it will never be

So I'll flee to the coast to get away from it all

You want it? Here it is! You had me.

You had me and you pushed me away

Don't tell me to stay

You never knew how, you watched me run away

you didn't care when I fell apart

I fixed it myself so what, now comes 21

and more things have changed

the general theme remains the same I guess in some ways

Theres still girls and boys

they still grow up fast

and I'm still the one with the backstage pass

Go ahead get mad, I'm sorry I know it makes you sick

But I always fell over for the one with the pick

It could have been us

Now I know how to let things go

Now I know how to live and let live

Now I know not to count on you.

You know it's true.

"When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me. It's you. It's you, Peyton."

I don't even have to say please

Non-Fiction

That was the best summer of my life

My heart never beat faster and I

can't honestly say that I wasn't In love

what is it anyway

An idea beaten to death by reality

when all we will ever be is buried in notions of ideally

together is better and fighting is fine

I'll love you forever, and not forget time

spent next to you however short

this one is completely about you so please smile

We lasted this long, I think we can take on a lifetime

I'm not trying to string you along

because strings are for puppets and you can't be held down

I'm not lying so try to believe

the best part is I'm happy, but if it kills you it will kill me

We are poster children for how to balance this scene

And maybe it hurts at time but at least it's not fake

when the bass begins and the drums kick in and your next to me

It couldn't be anyone else

The music will bind us eternally

For better or worse, whatever the label

There's still songs to be sung

So Martin was right

Maybe two is better than one.

But two one's make 11.

Fiction

Three Years, Two Days

Since I first saw your pretty face

I don't dream about it anymore

I don't think about the way your lip curled

Or how your blue grey eyes looked in your dark grey shirt

How I found out you were in a band

The table we sat at, the placement of the sun in the sky

The boys like girls shirt I was wearing from the night before

They don't believe me

I don't think about you

And I'm not good at lying

But if I was, How would you know?

A Poem.

Stalk Me

Stalk Me

Stalk Me

Stalk Me

Stalk Me

Steal Me

Save Me

Stalk Me

Watch Me

Save You

Wake Up.

Retox

Detox

Find Me

Leave Me

Watch Me

Watch You

Destroy Me

Wake Up.

Stalk Me

Umm Yes.

Unblocked and Cut Up

So slash my wrists

The pain doesn’t even compare to the way you kiss

The words I left behind

Are all I miss

its just Like this

I cant go on

Its not a trick

This illusion is my real life

And Im living it

Tell me how I felt was never what i meant

The lies you said I told are falling off your lips

And all that I have left is everything you will forget

And its over but it never really was

Im sober and i dont like what ive done

lies, tears, alibis and all thats in between

you’ll fake a smile for awhile

and ill believe everything

So lay me down and mess me up

now move on with your life

the scars on the outside are nothing compared to whats inside

in you in doh!

Trace my palm with your finger

I've never really done this before

Happy songs don't come easily

And neither did you.

It blows my mind to know you question anything

Because when I look at you I'm overcome.

If you can't live without me, Why aren't you dead yet?

Heres a story about a group of kids I once knew

suburban living rules forbidding and time unwilling

were going to live forever

Too big for this town to keep us down

Oh yeah but while were here we'll rule the streets watch the city sleep

and we'll all fall down trying not to grow up

we'll all fall down falling in love

it's all the same when you are young

Time attacked and killed them in their sleep

And they never saw it coming until it was too late

When she slips away you'll hear her sing:

your bodies get bigger your hearts get thinner

your shoulders get colder your tears freeze over

so run towards the summer

don't look ahead or you'll miss it

this is the song of lost innocence

Nobody listens to what they don't want to hear

you can never come back here

So when they did the earth shifted

and the years fell down on them in waves of menace

landslides of distance in forms less resistant than friendship or words that can't be found

but need screamed

The curtain falls on this scene

They all fell down and they all fell apart

They forgot how to love when they moved to the coast

The dreams that they had can't be the same

They lost each other now they are changed