Something you should know.

I told myself I couldn't stay for a boy
I painted myself brave and then drove away
Self deprecating vanity hid the grief
And when it leaked so did the blood held in my wrists
And we kept on fighting with balled up fists and pain
we replaced with a drunken kiss

We survived but I didn't realize...
I told myself I couldn't stay
That's exactly what I did
He wasn't the boy I thought I left
The boy the summer hid
Guitars are loud and blue eyes pretty
but yours were the ones that brought me back to this city.

And Fate in it's beautifully wicked demeanor
knew that coming back was not the cure
And time slipped by and our words slowed
and in driveways once shared we stood alone

We made our choices, we disregarded the voices
the ones that told us to take the risks
to break our fears and save our wrists
and throw out those pills for good
But we learned on our own time
and we found replacements that became another reason to rhyme

I'm not saying im not happy now
Or that given the chance I would change it all
It's just that I can't see your eyes
So I don't know what's going on inside
To decipher feelings and truth;
What I didn't realize on that northbound drive
I was coming back to you.

If this is just a part I portray.

In my second life you won.

We got a place and lived in the sun

It was more than a fairy tale.

And then the second him came along.

I still check

Should I not?