I don't miss you

I miss your hair

I miss your cheekbones

I miss your imperfect nose

I miss your eyes

I miss your laugh

I miss the way you made me feel safe

I miss the way you hurt me like no one else could

I miss the pain

I miss thinking I could save you

I miss your friends

I miss your street

I miss your driveway

I miss your mother not being happy with me

I miss your dad yelling at you

I miss your lies

So that's how drafts work

Don't be transparent. I like you dirty and left out

And 3 months have passed so of course my mind is wandering

It's not us to be so damn sure

Teeth on her fingers

Then my girl swoops in

Little one not so lost

so maybe you're just confusing alchemy for tolerance

It's a game I might as well start enjoying

because if they're going to get mad

I've learned one thing

You might as well give them something to scream for

Morpheus and Hecate were here

What if the kettle wasn’t black

What if it was blue

What if it was argyle

What would you call it then

Find your piece of mind and put it on my plate

serve me something more than this predetermined fate

I let fall around me

fall all around me

I can’t catch any of it

It’s falling too fast and I’m not ready for this

What if the sky wasnt blue

what if it was grass

what if it was diamonds

would your prayers reflect on you

and what if I didn’t find you

What if we never knew each other at all

what would you call it then

would it still be fate

its not an ordinary day

its the day we find each other

and now i can finally write

what I never could

retrace.

It used to flow so easily out of me, the frustration and sadness and anger

words unsaid

But now I'm empty. In another light it's called happiness.

And it coincides perfectly with your disappearance

And you say you want it so bad

So bad you couldn't even look me in the eye

and I still know every detail of yours

every speck of gold, every valley of brown, every tear that ever fell in my presence

Tell me this is what you want

Scream it in my face

I want to destroy you. right.

Drop more lines. drop names. drop a heart.

It was always a movie wasn't it?

The heroine just keeps changing

drop the e. That's what we were.

I know I'm not yours. I know I'm not

We loved like blades. We loved to death. almost.

Scars fade. They don't disappear.

Maybe you should stop running

Maybe you need closure

Maybe you should grow up

Maybe I should shut up

Maybe I fucked up

It happened.

Do you ever wonder?

What happens to the kids

Are they hiding inside

Are they watching

Are they crying

Or laughing. Because all along they knew better.

You are my ink.