Friday, August 6, 2010

Things that start with the letter three, or consonance


Oh for the day,when I sway to drift again
and you find me, but I'm far away
will it shade the days
we spent on your family's lake
and this life is running me in circles
overlapping sloppy words
that lend themselves to different lives
In different tenses of love alligned
and the word memory is poison, but it tastes divine
Like the time you couldn't leave the dock
and I knew something inside of you was dying
and when we heard the songs about breaking every clock
but we forgot to forget the hands of time
Did I know you best all along?
Were we really discrete?
laying in streets
spending more than our share in backseats
of cars the color of coldplay songs
Like the times I used what I could
and you let me excite you
above where they stood
and sometimes I wonder too
If only they knew then
Maybe it would be different
If we ever fit in, with the animals we love
and the one that gets attacked by them
and the ones that were, where the black squirrels live
And the fruit you cut born from fields forever
In the torso of Adam and the legs of Fitch
how the thread that covered us meant so much then
and the one we pulled over us in your basement
hiding truths of rooftops and rain and lovers attention
waking up in hawaiian boundaries
the days when they laughed
at our awkwardly pressed and innocent bodies
And we never really had a chance between blue skies
between brown eyes and long goodbyes
to have something we had to hide

I'm sorry, If I let you go

I'm sorry if I missed your eyes
I got lost in lies, of yours and mine
and somewhere between our lines
a boy and girl live happily
ever and ever and ever after
And who am I, or who are you
To tell them that oughtn't to?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

byassociation

so i'll keep writing
and you will too
we will never know each other
but we'll know each other best.
always
better than anyone filling the place ever could
because everything that meant anything died
with us
I'll admit.
suspense.
blankets.
movies.
it all meant more then
and living vicariously
was enough?
and we were all stars
we were all famous
and we still are
by association.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The one walking away isn't always the one leaving.


This is my sherwood acres
If sherwood acres had ghosts
If sherwood acres had demons
This is my treehouse
This is my fairytale
And fairytales don't have to rhyme
But sometimes they want to
This is my escape.
But I've realized
I don't need one anymore
Yet
I still find myself replying
and my eyes still linger on your last syllables
This is my sherwood acres
and you aren't real either.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

million dollar art

I am no angel
because an angel would smile because of your way with words.
No I am selfish. I am human.
Because I enjoy them both.
Your talent, and the attention.
Although, I deserve no praise.
But to your answer your question
I am not sinking, nor am I sailing towards you.
I am very committed to my destination.
But selfishly, Siren, I want to hear your voice.
Because what a beautiful one it is.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Job Perks

Yesterday I touched a corpse
I saw where his heart had been
Yesterday I touched a dead man
And I know he felt nothing
I touched his spine
And jugular
and muscles that had lost all strength
His skin was rubber
but he still had hair
his eyes closed upon his face
In life maybe he was a poet
Or a brilliant engineer
Maybe he was a mortician, and he touched corpses too
Yesterday I touched a corpse
He didn't blink or breathe, or feel
Yet it felt so familiar, his reaction wasn't new
Yesterday I touched a dead man
It felt like touching you.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

He probably won't read this.



manifest destiny and tell me you love me
Im sorry I only can accept that from those at sea
And I only wallow in pain for half a decade
If I expect the vampiric charade not to fade
So excuse me my dear for shedding few tears
but you knew of my fears and the skeleton years
and you can't expect much from a girl lost in lust
to a boy somewhat young and a head not quite there
One day she might lose it and get on his ship
and sail away far from keys and guitars
But most likely she'll haunt you because she wont even choose
the boy to whom you thought you'd most likely lose.
But there's a secret in the telling if you listen quite well
because the girl in question for which you "fell"
will know all along that you're going to be fine
you're going to be better and better in time
and maybe just maybe she knew you were best
without the distractions of any tempest
but its a lot easier to move on in hate
so she'll let you think that she's doing great
because in reality you knew all along
you weren't really ever the one in her song
and maybe she doesn't exactly know who it's for, for sure
but more likely a pirate than a commodore.



Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I don't miss you

I miss your hair
I miss your cheekbones
I miss your imperfect nose
I miss your eyes
I miss your laugh
I miss the way you made me feel safe
I miss the way you hurt me like no one else could
I miss the pain
I miss thinking I could save you
I miss your friends
I miss your street
I miss your driveway
I miss your mother not being happy with me
I miss your dad yelling at you
I miss your lies



So that's how drafts work

Don't be transparent. I like you dirty and left out
And 3 months have passed so of course my mind is wandering
It's not us to be so damn sure
Teeth on her fingers
Then my girl swoops in
Little one not so lost
so maybe you're just confusing alchemy for tolerance
It's a game I might as well start enjoying
because if they're going to get mad
I've learned one thing
You might as well give them something to scream for

Monday, June 28, 2010

Morpheus and Hecate were here

What if the kettle wasn’t black

What if it was blue

What if it was argyle

What would you call it then


Find your piece of mind and put it on my plate

serve me something more than this predetermined fate

I let fall around me

fall all around me

I can’t catch any of it

It’s falling too fast and I’m not ready for this


What if the sky wasnt blue

what if it was grass

what if it was diamonds

would your prayers reflect on you


and what if I didn’t find you

What if we never knew each other at all

what would you call it then

would it still be fate


its not an ordinary day

its the day we find each other

and now i can finally write

what I never could


Sunday, June 27, 2010

retrace.

It used to flow so easily out of me, the frustration and sadness and anger
words unsaid
But now I'm empty. In another light it's called happiness.
And it coincides perfectly with your disappearance
And you say you want it so bad
So bad you couldn't even look me in the eye
and I still know every detail of yours
every speck of gold, every valley of brown, every tear that ever fell in my presence
Tell me this is what you want
Scream it in my face
I want to destroy you. right.
Drop more lines. drop names. drop a heart.
It was always a movie wasn't it?
The heroine just keeps changing
drop the e. That's what we were.
I know I'm not yours. I know I'm not
We loved like blades. We loved to death. almost.
Scars fade. They don't disappear.
Maybe you should stop running
Maybe you need closure
Maybe you should grow up
Maybe I should shut up
Maybe I fucked up
It happened.
Do you ever wonder?
What happens to the kids
Are they hiding inside
Are they watching
Are they crying
Or laughing. Because all along they knew better.
You are my ink.