I'll be home for Christmas

I wonder
If the memories you hide
Are the same as the ones I digitalize
And if you saved the words you destroyed
And if you wonder if maybe I did
And how often I read them
And what I think
Like maybe you're brilliant when you put pen to ink
And maybe I can't possibly let that go
And what I actually want most of all
Is to find a way to refill your soul
With words that always seemed to flow
So perfectly effortless they seduce
Leaving me wanting
The high they induced
I lived to be your muse
And your words were always mine.
I get lost searching for a way
To leave it all behind.
And somehow in the end I always find
This whole time
It was me
Who was running blind.

The Patron Saint of Lost Causes

You were a master of twisting reality, words, and esteem.And you were stronger than me.
So I shattered.
And you were king.
It was your world and I survived in it.
And I didn't know then, but you thrived on that.
Only you don't get to control me.
You don't get to determine my worth.
And eventually I found my way out.
And it broke my heart when you didn't follow or cry out or feel
anything at all
And I thank you so much for that
I finally escaped you.
But I still loved you just enough to keep my silence
To pretend it was mutual
You didn't break my heart.
You ripped it out and held it in front of me.
And dared me to scream
And laughed in my face as I bled to death
But I didn't.
Hollow men will not rule me.
They will not silence me anymore.
I'm the phoenix. And you are no longer king.

Wherever you go, You take yourself with you

I haven't found another place that feels as mine. 

Maybe you only get one in your life.

Did you forget I can see right through you?

I didn't

It's what keeps me smiling

How are those inspirational quotes working out for you?

Your drunken smile is adorable

It looks like emptiness

Just the way you wanted it.

And now it's all yours, with nothing holding you back

I hope you enjoy every minute of it.

Because I am.

You can't change your blood

I don't hurt anymore. 

Another reason to bury it deep away

beyond reach of hearts with any intentions, dark, or light.

Because no good can come from investing yourself into another human being.

Put your soul into words, into music, into philosophy. Not flesh. 

Flesh will decay,

flesh will rot,

and with certainty flesh will deceive.

Including your own.

Especially your own.

You can't change your blood.

I've tried and tried.

Another emo song

You already know how this one goes
Id rather die by your hand than any other
so here's another song to feed your ego
and give you another tremor you can't shake
another chance you just can't take
hesitate with every thought
You could be happy, but you're just…

not again she screams and its drowned out
by the apathy filtered through the doubt
another angel shot down
you just can't help but feel like
maybe you're holding the gun
and maybe its better this way
we make a living out of convincing
build our lives of bricks made from pride

Well we're all so eager to bleed
To be or not to be
well either way I lose
because life tastes of regret
and the poison tastes like you

All of us kids we finally grew up
living in the days we used to worship
and instead I found that holding on is what I do best
you said so yourself
so how are you shocked
the shot that you blocked
the walls that you built
it doesn't prevent
I just can't give you up

….and I'm still singing
and they still cut like knives
just as loud as the day
those songs saved our lives

you could be happy, but you're just...

Wearing all vintage misery. No, I think it looked a little better on me

Would you still follow them to end of the world?

Taxi Driver III

I never know if you'll be there for tomorrow or disappear like an old crow medicine show, rambling man, The way you go,
radio blasting, even watching you leave has got me asking
you to stay and experience the fall out
boy we can destroy and rebuild until god shows
its not puppy love but I'm one sick puppy because I'm heels over head
like a broke finned guppy, and it's all that I've got, I'm used up you're my lovedrug and I'm addicted,  but I can't breathe

carolina heat in this dangerous summer
I swear if you leave I'll be dead by april
I can't pierce this veil of pride and past by myself
because I'm pretty reckless, a messy spill canvas
a correlation of fears when  left to my own devices,
confusing men and mices, the words are all mixed up,
 Wanting blue pills to make those books alive
so I'll go on a quiet drive
to take them back sunday, all the words I've read
but all I want are yours to come out of your head and wrap me in
piano strings and your alliance . Let's make this four years strong.
they might be giants but we can leave this scene
aesthetics are only skin deep. but this chemical romance is killing me
I need to breathe you in. please. Be my oxygen. be my ink.

If you wanted a song written about you all you had to do was ask.

I'm not capable to leave this all behind
or unwind the hands of time
no, I'm just a ghost, touch of no effect
full of guilt and shame watching you slip away
what can I say that I haven't already.
I swore that I'd fight for you so I'm still standing here
But if it makes you less sad, I'll dissapear
I'll go back in my box, of lost things and rot
You can say all the words they make to describe
girls like me. If it makes you feel better
I can be gone. I can be her. I can be your villian.
I'll say we'll be fine. Or I won't say a thing.
Whatever you need. If it's what you want.
From all of this what is left
It's who I am, just like you said
built to destroy love I was made for this.
It feels as if you manifested me
when your ink is all I ever wished to be,
before I knew what happened in the story
But I just want it to end
For a peace to creep in
or for you to twist the knife
whatever makes it go away.
Because I'm watching us die
And it feels like everything you ever said it would.

Somewhere a band is playing.

We tore apart the hearts that we created in the dark with pirates and princess watching us.
Are your nightmares and dreams the same?
because mine are filled with tombstones calling our names.
And putting the blame on being just kids, and feeling the pain of being told it must end.
So lets pretend we were too young to see, but for me It's never been more real than 17.
Are you looking back or just living in the past,
while you were running blindly, I was running from your grasp.
I'm not the only one who knows how to kill innocence, you've made a living out of it.
Because you don't break hearts you shatter them.
So whatever you have left of mine is for keeps.
It's not a sad ending it's a fucking tragedy.
Because I love you and I'm sorry, but you aren't.
And you're almost silence is worse than a lifetime of regret.
And I will never find the words to make me forget or make you come back.


In another life, we can try again.