Oh the places you'll go

I'm sorry for making you cry
I'm sorry I found out too late that you lied
I'm sorry I wasn't on time
And that you left without saying goodbye
I'm sorry you ran into the woods
And left me alone to be driven home
I'm sorry they saw us a mess
And hated the thought of us together
I'm sorry we could never find out if it ever gets better
I'm sorry we never walked on the beach
that all of the plans were just too out of reach
I'm sorry you're too young
and I was young too
I'm sorry you got hurt
I'm sorry for you
I'm sorry that the medicine makes you numb
but without it you're in a different kind of prison
I'm sorry you're gone
I'm sorry I am too
I'm sorry I still get sad when I think about you
I'm sorry I'll never know if you'll ever know
I'm sorry this is the only thing I can do

I wish you would wish I could

I have no time, no money
I have no patience
for anybody
I have a heart in my hand
I'm dropping
And it's worth everything
I'm standing behind a one way mirror
and watching her throw stones
bruised and blessed shes dying here
no intentions left just pretend to hear
and moved inside invisible
the reason for the physical
I got my hopes up tonight
the silence was suspense
my pain less evident.

They only had yellow.

One of these days we will cross paths

and I dont know what i will feel or say

and if your voice will captivate

me in the same way

like it always had before

like I said I shut the door

but lay bleeding on the floor

with an open window facing your watchful eye

knowing you wouldn't let me die

I couldnt let us die

I dragged your willing body with me

You gave me your hands to tie

you hate me rightfully

I was always moving but never changed

until I felt too far away

and fell back to you in escalated states

you drove me home, you drove me away

to your bed and other sins we faked.

When I see you will they rise from graves

will it hurt you or me or just the ones we played

I loved, but didnt know how to fully

Im not sorry he was the only one who could see through me

who stuck around until he knew me

I chose it, still he held the key

and now I live happily

ever after

with only passing thoughts

of the mystery that wasnt ours

of lives you lead

having nothing to do with me

hundred

We all stopped writing

But now that I live just around the corner

I guess I don't need you to drive me home.

Honestly, I haven't thought about you in awhile.

It doesn't change anything.

smile

You should be too.

Things that start with the letter three, or consonance

Oh for the day,when I sway to drift again

and you find me, but I'm far away

will it shade the days

we spent on your family's lake

and this life is running me in circles

overlapping sloppy words

that lend themselves to different lives

In different tenses of love alligned

and the word memory is poison, but it tastes divine

Like the time you couldn't leave the dock

and I knew something inside of you was dying

and when we heard the songs about breaking every clock

but we forgot to forget the hands of time

Did I know you best all along?

Were we really discrete?

laying in streets

spending more than our share in backseats

of cars the color of coldplay songs

Like the times I used what I could

and you let me excite you

above where they stood

and sometimes I wonder too

If only they knew then

Maybe it would be different

If we ever fit in, with the animals we love

and the one that gets attacked by them

and the ones that were, where the black squirrels live

And the fruit you cut born from fields forever

In the torso of Adam and the legs of Fitch

how the thread that covered us meant so much then

and the one we pulled over us in your basement

hiding truths of rooftops and rain and lovers attention

waking up in hawaiian boundaries

the days when they laughed

at our awkwardly pressed and innocent bodies

And we never really had a chance between blue skies

between brown eyes and long goodbyes

to have something we had to hide

I'm sorry, If I let you go

I'm sorry if I missed your eyes

I got lost in lies, of yours and mine

and somewhere between our lines

a boy and girl live happily

ever and ever and ever after

And who am I, or who are you

To tell them that oughtn't to?

byassociation

so i'll keep writing

and you will too

we will never know each other

but we'll know each other best.

always

better than anyone filling the place ever could

because everything that meant anything died

with us

I'll admit.

suspense.

blankets.

movies.

it all meant more then

and living vicariously

was enough?

and we were all stars

we were all famous

and we still are

by association.

The one walking away isn't always the one leaving.

This is my sherwood acres

If sherwood acres had ghosts

If sherwood acres had demons

This is my treehouse

This is my fairytale

And fairytales don't have to rhyme

But sometimes they want to

This is my escape.

But I've realized

I don't need one anymore

Yet

I still find myself replying

and my eyes still linger on your last syllables

This is my sherwood acres

and you aren't real either.

million dollar art

I am no angel

because an angel would smile because of your way with words.

No I am selfish. I am human.

Because I enjoy them both.

Your talent, and the attention.

Although, I deserve no praise.

But to your answer your question

I am not sinking, nor am I sailing towards you.

I am very committed to my destination.

But selfishly, Siren, I want to hear your voice.

Because what a beautiful one it is.

Job Perks

Yesterday I touched a corpse

I saw where his heart had been

Yesterday I touched a dead man

And I know he felt nothing

I touched his spine

And jugular

and muscles that had lost all strength

His skin was rubber

but he still had hair

his eyes closed upon his face

In life maybe he was a poet

Or a brilliant engineer

Maybe he was a mortician, and he touched corpses too

Yesterday I touched a corpse

He didn't blink or breathe, or feel

Yet it felt so familiar, his reaction wasn't new

Yesterday I touched a dead man

It felt like touching you.

He probably won't read this.

manifest destiny and tell me you love me

Im sorry I only can accept that from those at sea

And I only wallow in pain for half a decade

If I expect the vampiric charade not to fade

So excuse me my dear for shedding few tears

but you knew of my fears and the skeleton years

and you can't expect much from a girl lost in lust

to a boy somewhat young and a head not quite there

One day she might lose it and get on his ship

and sail away far from keys and guitars

But most likely she'll haunt you because she wont even choose

the boy to whom you thought you'd most likely lose.

But there's a secret in the telling if you listen quite well

because the girl in question for which you "fell"

will know all along that you're going to be fine

you're going to be better and better in time

and maybe just maybe she knew you were best

without the distractions of any tempest

but its a lot easier to move on in hate

so she'll let you think that she's doing great

because in reality you knew all along

you weren't really ever the one in her song

and maybe she doesn't exactly know who it's for, for sure

but more likely a pirate than a commodore.

I don't miss you

I miss your hair

I miss your cheekbones

I miss your imperfect nose

I miss your eyes

I miss your laugh

I miss the way you made me feel safe

I miss the way you hurt me like no one else could

I miss the pain

I miss thinking I could save you

I miss your friends

I miss your street

I miss your driveway

I miss your mother not being happy with me

I miss your dad yelling at you

I miss your lies

So that's how drafts work

Don't be transparent. I like you dirty and left out

And 3 months have passed so of course my mind is wandering

It's not us to be so damn sure

Teeth on her fingers

Then my girl swoops in

Little one not so lost

so maybe you're just confusing alchemy for tolerance

It's a game I might as well start enjoying

because if they're going to get mad

I've learned one thing

You might as well give them something to scream for

Morpheus and Hecate were here

What if the kettle wasn’t black

What if it was blue

What if it was argyle

What would you call it then

Find your piece of mind and put it on my plate

serve me something more than this predetermined fate

I let fall around me

fall all around me

I can’t catch any of it

It’s falling too fast and I’m not ready for this

What if the sky wasnt blue

what if it was grass

what if it was diamonds

would your prayers reflect on you

and what if I didn’t find you

What if we never knew each other at all

what would you call it then

would it still be fate

its not an ordinary day

its the day we find each other

and now i can finally write

what I never could

retrace.

It used to flow so easily out of me, the frustration and sadness and anger

words unsaid

But now I'm empty. In another light it's called happiness.

And it coincides perfectly with your disappearance

And you say you want it so bad

So bad you couldn't even look me in the eye

and I still know every detail of yours

every speck of gold, every valley of brown, every tear that ever fell in my presence

Tell me this is what you want

Scream it in my face

I want to destroy you. right.

Drop more lines. drop names. drop a heart.

It was always a movie wasn't it?

The heroine just keeps changing

drop the e. That's what we were.

I know I'm not yours. I know I'm not

We loved like blades. We loved to death. almost.

Scars fade. They don't disappear.

Maybe you should stop running

Maybe you need closure

Maybe you should grow up

Maybe I should shut up

Maybe I fucked up

It happened.

Do you ever wonder?

What happens to the kids

Are they hiding inside

Are they watching

Are they crying

Or laughing. Because all along they knew better.

You are my ink.

Quickie

If we spoke I would ask you how you are

If we saw each other I would laugh because your wrong

Then maybe we could lay in your driveway for awhile

Or the street

Or that one place

11:11

birdboy, write me a poem
and the one doing motorcycle drive-bys, give me a chance, because we really don't know each other anymore
the one in pain, make yourself happy, for once.
For the one's down south, try to remember me
and for everyone else. just love each other.

If you don't have anything nice to say, then use your hands

Something about the way you lose your composure just slightly

Exposing every vulnerable emotion that I can't wait to rip into;

Like the moonlight will rip into the nice girl held onto so tightly

skin, lips, nails, to touch, to taste, to feel and see

and I just want to get lost completely within you

you inside of me

every word every sigh, held inside

until you scream

three hundred fifteen

Tell me sweetheart

does the thought of her make the butterflies come to life?

do you want to dance and sing and follow white rabbits

or are they daggers that dance inside of you?

if you let them they will consume each other

the hands you need to catch you are your own

Because your eyes tell a story

your heart can't bear

and as much as you pretend

we all know you're not really here

the ground absorbed the tears that fell that day

and from grief grew a vine

it wrapped around the tree where she used to lean

next to the heart encased initials that never seemed to wear with time

and he went back occasionally

just to know that it was real

and the day the red rose grew

he remembered how to feel

Sweet symphony just one moment of coincidence

held onto for it's purity and beauty because it is rare

Because unlike people memories can stay the same

or shape themselves to fit the past we wanted

Sometimes it's easier to love an idea than a person

and sometimes I sleep when it's not raining

But it's better when it is

It's over, It's just begun

It's not the poison dripping out in the form of words

Although I still enjoy a glass from time to time

I don't know him any more

stranger

Better where I can imagine him

standing tall

happy

Weird.

we agreed on it.

You. I would like to know. Maybe more.

I forgive you for the truth, I liked you better when you lied

What are you doing when you're not writing

There's too many beautiful things happening for you not to be in my life.

Something more Appealing

Give me something more appealing than this overheated room

I love the sweat it brings, but it's lonely without you

Give me a hand to brush the hair away from my stubborn face

give me your lips, give me your skin, salt from tears to taste

In the shadows, I know not what you do

words unheard drop like thorns off the rose we plucked too soon

the branches fell around and tore our clothes and skin

colored white roses red to match the mood of love and lust and death

call it art call it life call it sick and revel in this mess

twisting turning bodies or spinning dice or still concrete

calling out the same question feeling drafts and thinking nothing

We all will fall, the worms will surely come

don't worry, keep spinning in dresses

Know everything or nothing or pretend

but just keep singing

We will all fall down together.

old stuff

If I said I didn’t love you

Then you’d know I was lying

With my last breath I’ll hold in everything that we had

And slowly let it out.

At this point if there’s anything left to say let me know

I never meant to hurt you, but you already know that

And it doesn’t matter anyway

We build castles to knock them down

We build bridges to burn them away.

If I fought for you I’d surely lose.

You know I’d do it anyway

Second chances never hurt anyone except for us

All those glances shot in vain

Didn’t bring us any closer to the truth

The failure of words is mans greatest downfall

We call on drawn out metaphors because the closest we can get to explaining an emotion is to say what it is like

“love isn’t like anything especially a fucking knife”

In you I saw the place I thought I could call home

But what I didn’t realize was that there wasn’t enough room for me and all my skeletons

Clinging to me like second life

A choice I never got to make

A decision I had no part of

A life I never wanted

Hush

Don’t speak

The words only clutter this perfect silence

The last moment we have before I say goodbye

And you say be careful

And I tell you not to forget about me

But I forgot to tell you

To keep loving me

Perfect sunsets bring perfectly disastrous sunrises.

The Truth About Heaven

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about

It's not subtle and it's not original

because I was there two years ago

Or did you not get the message in the most important song on that cd?

You said to save you I had to disappear

I'm done listening to you

I'm going to fucking reach you.

You're living whether it's to spite me or love yourself.

Look in a mirror, tell me what you see

owl sounds

I'm slightly jealous of your words

And hoping they are real so I have something to be slightly jealous of

And wishing I could write like that, about that.

It's not morbid, it's Kalopsia

You're lost, but you're not alone

its becoming more night then day a wretched town a role to play

cast out to see on an epic stage, four nights we laughed

tears of empathy, you still wont stay

slow down... just a bit, always looking for whatever it is

The world is going to end before it's found

Everyone wants the same thing and we're all drowning.

What matters ? when we change our minds like there's actually a right answer

decisions are ghosts to those who will never be sure

One last drink to a thousand more

we're going to be dust

and it's going to be great

We'll figure it out

as they lower our crate

from six feet down

Finally seeing clear

Earths hidden stars

In a geophysic atmosphere

don't feel bad for the dead

they're smiling because they were here.

Since we're being honest. Since we're being sober on a friday.

What makes it real

Time doesn't pick sides

Hearts aren't made knowing lies

If it's all going to be fine

It's not in this life

You want my advice

Go where the music is.

Remember to feel, it's the hardest thing to do.

We all hurt each other so we don't

I want to find the magic again

To be excited and scared in the soberest of ways

Kids grow up too fast.

I honestly don't know if I've ever loved anyone as much as I love the music they make.

No, Honestly I do, and I haven't.

Console Her

Here's to your jealousy

my words always made you uneasy

knowing they were never aimed at you

and my body was, but that wasn't good enough

not enough to pull you through

your sick insecurities I can't help you put your mind at ease

so you destroyed her, and took it away from me

Does it make you feel better to get your words

Do you not understand why I write to them?

If you're not in script then you're probably not killing me

together innocence made ongoing

when all you

need is your name screamed in your face.

Does it scare you, confuse you

I'll slip easily

between first and third and you'll never know when it's me

or when it's you or him or the other ones you believe

or make up in your fucked up head

make it so real, that you manifest it

for everyone to see

for everyone to see

for everyone to see

and now we scream.

Well, that was weird.

Taxi Driver II

Will you be there for tomorrow she asked as a tear rolled down her face

Don't downplay the obvious the academy Is... against me!

And I can't escape the fate

And I now that she's fallen to an all time low

She gets in the cab so she can runaway

Maybe she'll go to boston or LA

Become a famous actress making April her new name

But the audition told her to go away

so she headed back to my favorite highway

driving down every avenue as the lights fade to grey

A story of the almost famous

Band-aids they call them, but she's no penny lane

And danger is my middle name

So she pulls into Anarbor

rolled down the maine strip

a billboard with a picture of the Marianas Trench

Reminds her of the rocket summer she left behind

Lesson learned time turned so what's there left to find?

She can't stop looking for a brand new something

In a town where boys like girls

There's no sound to be heard

were all aiming for cute but were all the lost causes

Well throw them a mayday parade in honor of their losses

so get in your cobra starship and get away from here

you would never shout never; still i know you're filled with fear

as you jet around this universe

that summer set your heart apart

the lack of atmosphere is not enough to cover up

And you find out you weren't as clever

you will be stuck here forever

The sickest kids in their fucked up scene

Just starving for a place to lean

Tonight, She'll do.

My Name is Autumn.

I Found The Cure to Growing Older && Your the Only Place that Feels like...

Growing up Is hard to do

I can't really be turned off by your words

Because your talent overrides my desire to cry

I can't help but be proud, and admit you are right

I realized it too, I'm not changing for you

The alliteration of a girl who was lost sometimes true

I'm moving on from her not from you

I want you happy, and to be the same,

You can't see the changes with distance blocking the way

I'm sorry for the pain, but not for the time

and not for I love you, because that wasn't a lie.

Don't cease your pen, and I don't care what it scribes

if it's hate for me or a new love of your life

I can't help but find you beautiful

I'm taking baby steps, and you can take your time.

Couldn't live counting the seconds until you were mine

Yeah a picture speaks a thousand words but no one takes pictures of

lonely computer labs, or sleeping alone

Days spent wanting your voice on the phone

You prove dangerous, you prove comfortable

You want to break me, I'm here, I'm breakable

I'll take it just fix you, one day I'll prove that what I said was true.

It's hard to feel summer in this wonderland

It's hard to feel anything but I'll take the stand

testify to the light that pierced the darkest days

Why I failed to commit as you say

That line should probably drop a bomb on my day

But it's true and I lived so it will wash away

We all fall down to learn how to look up

To act in love not anger, the hardest task shed the mask

shed the pride, shed the things that make you cry

fight for what scares you most and be turned on by love not lust.

Let the music move you not destroy you

try as hard as you can to write the song and not the business plan.

When you want it, There's still songs here waiting to be heard.